When your manager is running on empty: how to offer useful support
Updated: Oct 9
You probably have someone in mind already. The manager who says yes when a colleague needs help, takes on the awkward customer issue and finds a way to meet the deadline.
They care about doing a good job. You trust them, and with good reason.
But lately, their team conversations keep getting postponed. They answer questions while finishing something else. When you ask how they are, they say, “Fine, just busy,” and reassure you that everything will get done.
Perhaps it will. The question is what they are giving up to make that happen.
World Mental Health Day, on 10 October, is a reminder to notice how the people we rely on are doing. [1] For business owners, HR leads and senior managers, that includes knowing when someone is not themselves, making time to listen and knowing where to signpost them for help.
Know where to turn for support
You do not need to be a mental-health expert to listen and help someone find support. Make sure you know how to access your organisation’s Employee Assistance Programme, if you have one, and what it offers.
In the UK, someone who is struggling to cope can also contact:
Samaritans: call 116 123, free, at any time of day or night. [2]
Shout: text SHOUT to 85258, for free, confidential text support, available 24/7. [3]
Their GP or occupational health may also be appropriate sources of help. If someone is in immediate danger, call 999.
Alongside that support, there may be things you can change at work. Understanding what someone is carrying is a useful place to start.
When being dependable becomes a trap
Being good at getting things done is often what gets someone promoted. They know the work, solve problems and help other people out.
Then they become a manager. They still have work of their own, but now they are responsible for other people’s work too. When things get busy, doing it themselves can feel like the quickest, safest option.
You may recognise the thought: “By the time I’ve explained it, I could have finished it.”
Sometimes that is true for today’s task. But tomorrow, when the same person needs the same help, what has changed?
The manager becomes busier while the team keeps coming back for answers. There is less time to help people learn, so there is less they feel able to do without checking.
Senior leaders can add to this without realising. Something important comes along, and it goes to the person who can be trusted to deliver. Then it happens again.
Before long, being dependable means being constantly available.
Good results do not tell you the whole story
The report is finished and the customer is happy. From the outside, things look fine.
What you cannot see is the one-to-one that was cancelled, or the feedback that was put off because the manager could not face another uncomfortable conversation that day.
Perhaps a team member needed help making a decision. Perhaps a small mistake needed addressing before it became a habit. Those conversations still matter, even when nobody is chasing them.
Helping people understand what is expected, learn from mistakes and grow in confidence is part of the manager’s job. It needs time in the working week.
Does your manager have that time? Or are they expected to fit their people around everything else?
Why manager support deserves attention
Gallup’s State of the Global Workplace 2026 report found that global manager engagement fell from 27% in 2024 to 22% in 2025, down from 31% in 2022. [4]
These are engagement figures, not measures of mental illness or burnout. They describe managers’ connection to their work and organisation, and cannot tell you about an individual’s mental health.
They do give us a reason to pay attention to the experience of managing. Someone can be capable and committed while finding their role increasingly difficult.
If they tell you that, what are you prepared to understand, discuss and change?
High challenge needs high support
You can care about someone and still have clear expectations of them. They need both.
Your manager needs achievable priorities, appropriate authority and someone they can turn to. They also need honest conversations about where they are holding on to work, avoiding feedback or answering questions their team could learn to resolve.
That is high challenge and high support in practice.
Start with curiosity. You may discover conflicting instructions from senior leaders. You may discover that the manager is unsure how to delegate without losing control. Both deserve attention, and they need different responses.
The Health and Safety Executive’s Management Standards provide a useful framework for examining workload, control, support and other working conditions. [5]
Look at what is making the role difficult, then explore what each of you can do to help.
Four questions for a manager check-in
Arrange some private time when you can both concentrate. Explain that you want to understand how things are going, including what is becoming difficult.
These questions can help you explore that together. Be prepared to hear something you were not expecting, perhaps about the way you manage them.
1. What is taking more time or energy than it should?
Ask them to talk you through their workload. Are they covering others’ roles because of a vacancy, sick leave or a need to ensure something gets done?
Are there any quick wins they can suggest, such as reporting that could be automated? Is every report required, or is there data that is never read? Are they putting off an uncomfortable conversation?
Try to resist jumping straight in with an answer. You may be ready to suggest better planning, when what they really need is help addressing a problem with a colleague.
2. Is time lost waiting for approval that’s not required?
Are they waiting for your approval when you want them to use their own judgement? Have you agreed their authorisation levels, with actual examples of what they can approve or decide? Have you clarified exceptions to the rule?
Think about how quickly you respond, and whether your response is consistent. If your decision-making is inconsistent, they may have learned that checking with you is safer.
Be clear about where they can act, and when you need them to involve you.
3. When is more support required, who from, and what kind?
They may need you to choose between competing priorities, deal with something outside their control or help them prepare for a difficult conversation. They might need you to notice when they are less okay, more overwhelmed or rushing.
Ask, “What concerns do you have? What support do you need?”
They might want you to sense-check something or offer guidance. Avoid taking over; ask what would help or offer support.
4. What can stop, wait or move elsewhere?
If you need them to take on something new, what can come off their priority list?
It might seem obvious to you, but we all get into routines, make assumptions and find it easier to do work we enjoy. Do you know what their top priorities, or non-negotiables, are? Have you agreed what will not get done until those top priorities are done?
Delegation often needs encouragement. Being overwhelmed can be the right time to delegate to people who can do more, with enough time and support to take it on.
Know when they are not themselves
Small, frequent check-ins usually work better when someone is overloaded. Responding when something happens, noticing when they are not themselves and making sure they know you are there can all help. Additional reporting does not.
Ensure you know what is normal for your managers, so that you notice when something changes. Ask how they are rather than assuming you know what the change means.
Keep your own promises too. If you agreed to clarify a priority or deal with something outside their control, follow through.
If concerns about mental health emerge, listen, respect their privacy and help them access appropriate support. Acas offers guidance on these conversations. [6] Continue addressing workplace pressures alongside that help.
Help them become the manager their team needs
At Aspirin Business Solutions, we help people thrive through their work. That means developing confident managers who know exactly what good management looks like, know how to do it and believe it is better for them and their team.
Our Liberating Leadership Programme brings practical leadership development and support together to help managers put that into practice.
If these patterns feel familiar, talk to us about the support your managers need.
For now, think about the person who always says yes. Would you notice if they were not themselves, and would they feel able to tell you?
Sources
[3] Shout: Get help.
[4] Gallup: State of the Global Workplace 2026, reporting 2025 data.
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